Monday, March 29, 2010

Making major life choices

People gravitate toward the norm. To what feels familiar. To what they’re used to. Maybe this norm is what their parents did, or what their parent’s parents did. Whatever the case, these individuals live their lives by a checklist that was not created on their own.


But there are also individuals who want to avoid the familiar. Who don’t fit in with the norm, and aren’t into what they’re used to. These individuals are faced with an extremely exhilarating, yet daunting task: to create their own destiny. To forge their own path. To make decisions not only on who they want to be, but how they want to live, and what they hope to get out of life.


These people, in my opinion, are truly artists. And with any blank canvas, sometimes it’s hard to figure out where to start.


The most challenging part about figuring out what you want is the realization that every decision you make now has an affect on where you’ll end up. If you don’t marry during a certain window, or have children at a particular age, those opportunities can truly flash before your eyes and fade into oblivion.


This notion has always scared me. While these choices are not something that I want right now, what if I change my mind?


To help me figure it out, I find myself looking for examples in my friends and family who have accomplished these pivotal milestones…for better or worse.


I look at my great-grandparents who were married for decades. My grandparents who have been divorced for longer than they were ever married. To the ones who have found happiness on their own. I use these people in my life as reference points on what my options are. But for some of the more avant-garde lifestyles, examples are hard to come by.


So here are a couple questions to throw into the cyberspace universe: When did you KNOW how you wanted to spend your life? How you wanted to grow old? And, do you know of any unique circumstances where people were able to find their own happiness?


I welcome your insight….

2 comments:

  1. For the moment, no insight other than this: Holly, you're one terrific person, and I'm so happy we're related! And hey: don't worry about the rules!
    (Further insights to come, I would hope!)

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  2. First of all, I would say that more people fall into your "artist" category than you might think. Most people are faced with making decisions that will have an impact on the rest of their life (dare I say everyone?). Decisions that will shape their life regardless of what their parents or parents' parents did.

    That said, I don't think there is ever a time when you can see clearly from where you are till the end of your life in a straight, unobstructed line. You never reach an "ah ha" moment. As time goes by, you'll make one decision which will lead you to the next and to the next and on and on.

    Knowing you, those decisions will (most likely) be good ones, which lead to more good decisions. There's no need to worry about what you'll be doing in 20 years. That'll work itself out based on what you decide to do in the next 20 minutes.

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